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Do guys really find indian girls attractive?

>> Thursday, 3 November 2011

It is a very interesting story, no one should be given a bad name, that too knowingly.

These is an inherent bias in India towards a girl child and this is as a rsult of Dowry system, by which many Girls are unable to marry in India.

And even if they get married there is always a demand from their in laws to bring more dowry from her parents. 

Many brides are tortured, some are even killed and some commit suicide....news of these things do appear in local news papers regularly.

This is a grave social problem in India and there is no end in sight, Dowry taking is banned by Indian law, but every one knows that it takes place.

That is the main reason why couples do not want girls as their first choice....earlier they had no choice because sex of child was only revealed at birth.

But now after these Ultrasound technology, couples can detrmine the sex of child much earleir and they go for obortion of it be a girl child.

This is the main reason for this declining male-female ration in India.

Eductaed and Middle class people are the biggest offenders, because it is they who always think so far away!!

That might be the reason for some parents to give bad names to their newly born girl child, which is so depressing to her.

But let me tell you, there is another class in India , called low castes or DAlits , who also have bad meaning names most of the time.

India is world's largest working democracy, 3rd or 4th biggest economy....but it is also the "largest killers of women child in the mother's womb".

A distinction, no civlized nation will be proud to have!!I mean, sure I see Indian girls with guys from different races and stuff - but most of the time, it's just the really fair skinned, almost-caucasian Indian girls! Like those like Aishwarya Rai! Do guys not like the darker, more 'typical' indian? I'm generalising a great deal here, but I was just hoping for a fairly general answer.How is the bad guy supposed to woo the good girl? What should he tell her and how? WriterAnnie Zaidi passes on some secrets
We may be fast transforming into a forward-thinking society, but the 'good Indian girl', it seems, still has to deal with all sorts of presumptions and prejudices. Addressing this slight, authors Annie Zaidi and Smriti Ravindra in their book, The bad boy's guide to the good Indian girl, present a collection of funny, irreverent stories of the lives and loves of smart, feisty girls from the subcontinent. Here, Zaidi writes for Mumbai Mirror and hands out the guys a few hints to get the good girl: First things first. This isn't really about bad boys (We don't know any. God-promise); this is about good Indian girls. And you should read this if you are the unsuspecting guy who walked up to a sweet girl, but when you asked for her name, she treated you as if you were a pervert. Or are you one of those who gave a girl a fancy present but she was too nervous to accept it? Are you married to a girl who loves you madly but who resents your harmless, homely sister-inlaw? Why? One of the reasons we decided to do such a book was that so many men complain that they simply cannot understand women, particularly Indian women. We kind of sympathise because we know there's cause for confusion and resentment.

For instance, when we were undergraduates (and living at a very strict girls' college), we had instructions not to talk to boys when we went outside. Some girls obeyed. Some didn't. Those who talked to boys would give out fake names, fake addresses. It must have been frustrating for boys when they discovered the lie, but on the other hand, what's a good girl to do?

If the boys had real names, real phone numbers, they would try to call. The hostel warden would find out. Parents would be summoned. The authorities would tell them that their daughters were up to no good. The girls would be shamed in front of their families and families would be shamed in front of the college authorities. Did we really have a choice?
When Smriti and I began to talk of what kind of stories we wanted to tell, we asked ourselves this question: How does one get labeled 'bad' or 'not very good' or at least 'not a good Indian girl'?

We also asked others and most of us agreed that clothes have a lot to do with the stereotype. So does body shape. A stereotypical good Indian girl is expected to not just dress 'within limit' but also to somehow make her body look, well, restrained, cautious. 'Limits', of course, are very hard to define. It is not enough to wear a sari, for instance. If you look supers*xy in a sari, then even that might earn you a bit of social censure.
So, when a girl spends hours trying to make up her mind about what to wear, remember that she isn't just worried about looking good. She is also worried about appearing to be good.

Remember that she is expected to place others' interests above her own (but that doesn't mean fighting for human rights in war zones; it means eating matarpaneer even though she hates it). Above all, she is expected to look happy and content.
Remember, that for most good Indian girls, to be interested in boys is considered healthy. But if you act on that interest, you enter a grey area. How much interest can you show without suffering for it? Can you go out drinking late at night? Can you buy him a drink, without being laughed at for being 'desperate'? Can you sleep with him and still expect him to treat you with respect?

So if you want to bowl over a good Indian girl, the best thing to do is to treat all girls with respect. Not just your girl. You must show respect for all girls. NEVER say things like 'x girl had it coming' or 'y is a nympho' or 'girls who smoke are more likely to put out'. If she herself says such things, YOU must gently shush her, and remind her that all girls should be treated with respect.
And NEVER ever hint that there's a separate set of rules for girls and boys. That you are allowed certain privileges, like hairy legs or bare chests, while she isn't. She knows the rules. She will hate you for reminding her.

Do NOT ask about her s*xual history. If it doesn't matter, then why ask? Let her volunteer information if she wants to. You must not ask, even if she has asked you. Remember, we play by different rules and that a girl's secrecy is often the only defense she has.
Many young men wonder why we care so much about being seen as a 'good girl'. We care because if we are seen as not-good girls, we are not treated with respect. Our families are not treated with respect. And because, when things go seriously bad, even our pain and outrage is turned into a weapon against us. We see this happening again and again through news reports about girls who are assaulted, or harassed. The first question everyone asks is - What time was it? Why was she out alone? Did she know the boy(s)? What was she wearing? Did she live alone? Why?

There are plenty of other reasons why we care about a 'good Indian girl' image, but remember this - a great web of morality confronts us. Most girls end up breaking some rules. And what's more, most girls want to break the rules. The challenge lies in snatching a bit of joy and freedom for ourselves and not getting caught.Hi All,

You are going to love Indian men for thinking this way!!! Really worth the read...one of the BEST e-mails I've received in a long time!!

It seems that an article was written to a well-founded magazine, by an English woman who requested a response from Indian men. I'm so glad she got what she asked for (and more)!!!

Dear Editor:

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Indian male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to an Indian male, good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Indian female's attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Indian women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Indian men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world If Indian women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Indian men about why we white women are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius,Berry Gordy, BillyBlanks, Larry Fishburne, Jesley Snipes...I could go on and on.
But,right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us.

Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Indian men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA.
The Response:

Dear Editor:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.

Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old Indian man. I studied from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful Non-White men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why Indian men date white women.

Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why Indian men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The Indian girls in my neighborhood were raised traditionally. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of Indian males date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of Indian men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our Indian women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many Indian men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous Indian men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women.

I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful Indian men date white women. Non-Whites like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut,Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth 'Babyface' Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong Non-White women. And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire Non-White women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don't want the 'Disgusted White Girl' to be misinformed.

Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when Non-White Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history! It was the Non-White woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the Non-White woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was Non-White women who were breastfeeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the Non-White woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail.

Indian women were born with two strikes against them: being Non-White and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!

It is because of the Indian women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my Indian Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colours and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about Indian women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with Indian women.

I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin. If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the Non-White woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understand my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.Thanks!

It's all a matter of how you've been raised.

I was raised in a very liberal, open minded family. I had no problem dating people of other cultures or races. What's strange is, is that I am 58 years old and never had a problem myself about  these things, and I would be considered a WASP (White, anglo-saxon prodestant).

People are strange. We are all people, with the same feelings and attractions, but not with the same cultures. We are used to what we grow up with, and my experience has been that many people can't accept another way of thinking, or another way of looking at things.

Religion also comes into play, and many Indians are Hindus, and worship many Gods, where it doesn't go well with the Christian, Jewish, Muslim religions.

My problems always arose with the OTHER minorities - they wanted their sons to date someone who would carry on their cultures, not an American.

Keep trying, their ARE people who do have open minds, but be careful to consider what kind of lifestyle, or culture is important to you to carry on.

I could only tell you why I like Indian men :)

Though I will agree with previous posters that to get involved with an Indian man can be risky; if he is from a traditional home there is a great chance that even if he adores you and says he will fight for you, his family will eventually accept you, that they will not accept you . This can create a lot of pressure for the couple.
In the case of white women a lot of Indian men say awful things generalizing us to be nasty little sluts who sleep with anything, use men for money and ..what else have I heard Indian men say about us? Oh yes, we are good to fuck but not much else.
Maybe it's your attitude that is keeping them away, likely it is because we hear about the awful way you can break our hearts by letting us fall in love with you just so you can take off with your Indian woman to get married one day completely forgetting us. [thank god that as I'm older this would not likely happen to me lol]
I guess just like with any color or culture there are some preconceived notions that are based on the few bad apples at hand. Just be confident in approaching us and if you get turned down don't let it get to you  we turn down the other guys all the time too :) You will find someone openminded enough and maybe even someone who thinks you are amazing but do us poor girls a favor and don't approach us unless there is any real future possible for the relationship [long term!].I don't think anyone should stereotype. I have dated two Indian man. The first was born here and was a very good man involved with his family and culture and always respectful and kind to me. He had good sense of humor and we had many good conversations. I was heartbroken when it ended but it was done in a very kind and honest way. I couldn't have asked for better man.

The second man moved here from India 12 years ago and very successful. However, there were many problems. He was too romantic and asked inappropriate sexual questions from very first conversation. He was very pushy as well and would not take no for an answer. He would nag, guilt trip, pressure, threaten to leave relationship, etc. He could be very flattering, attentive and romantic and say that he loved me and wanted to marry me. The relationship ended after less than month and half because I wanted to wait to have sex or get married and he would nag every day even though we hadn't even met yet. He also would try to pressure me to take naked or suggestive pictures which I refused to do.

It really came down to me having to go with what my instincts told me. I felt like he was manipulating and controlling or using me. I feel very strongly if someone loves you they will listen to you and respect your decisions or try to compromise. Maybe it was just lack of experience with dating on his part but he seemed like he was obsessed with sex and admitted to having lots of casual sex without protection which is deal breaker for me. I think another warning sign was he didn't like to talk about himself and would be very vague with answers.

I love Indian people and culture and though. I hope to visit India one day. I would date another Indian in a heartbeat as long as he is a good man. There are all types of people in every culture. You just have to look out for warnings signs and trust your instinct and do what is right for you. First of all, JosieGirl, I am really, really sorry about what happened with you. I cannot believe that there are Indian guys like that out there who could do such things. But the sad reality as I have found out now seems like there are people like that out there and if I came across one, I would probably beat him up lol even though I am not a violent person type but that sort of people get on my nerves So really, it doesn't help us good Indian guys who are genuinely looking for a good relationship. Now as you all know India is a big country and does have various religions. 

I myself am a Catholic, turned 23 recently and I am sure there are lots of other Catholic/Christian guys out there who are Indian but not necessarily have the same views/restrictions as other Indians from the mainstream religions such as Hinduism or Muslim might have. I have been brought up in more than 1 country and currently have been living in the UK for near 9 years. But I have retained the traditional values my mom and dad taught me. They are liberal and they have told me that they will accept any girl from any race as long as I and my partner are happy with each other.

I am also well educated and well off; working in the largest IT Company in the world and no I am not in technical area but in Project Management. What I am really trying to achieve here is that to plea to any girl who happens to read this blog to accept that not all Indian guys are the same and there are still genuine single guys like me who are awaiting for that special someone and haven’t even been in a relationship yet as they are patiently waiting (like I have).

I also plea to fellow Indian guys who think white girls/western girls are generally slut because the plain truth is they are not at all like that. You cannot stereotype a race. There are some people who are not good and then there are people who are good. It’s the same everywhere. No country is full of just good people and no country is full of bad people. There is a mix of everything. There are bad Indians (like those dicks that mistreated women with their false promises) and there are good ones. Similarly there are good people in different races and bad people in different races.

So please guys don’t stereotype. I was really struggling to think why western/white girls do not like Indian men; it all started from a discussion I had with a fellow colleague at work. But from my research into this have led me to this forum, and I now see why because, some wuss/loose character guys gave us all a bad rep. I was unaware of some of the stuff which has been happening and how Indian guys are known to be mommy’s boy until now. Yes I guess we do love our mothers and I certainly do, given the fact that I am my parent’s only child. But our mom’s are not all the same and don’t have similar thinking or expectations. I am strong willed and my parents gave me the freedom to choose my own partner. Even elder members of my family have encouraged me to go out there and find that someone special no matter what race. So not all Indian guys like me have to marry an Indian. I am actually looking for a nice girl who I can hopefully end up marrying and live with but I can foresee it not being an easy task. Will just have to see where fate takes me. For the record I am actually tall, fair (for an Indian guy), come from a good family background, go to the gym regularly and do consider myself to look OK, in case you are wondering. So please don’t think of us Indian guys as all bad or smelly (I certainly am not) – otherwise peeps like me will be having a hard time when we don’t deserve it.

Finally, JosieGirl, I really hope to God you find peace and that your scars heal quickly. I cannot even imagine what you have been through but I hope someday, maybe someday, you will find a little respect for the Indians. 
i had the same problem like many of the women that answered. i am from the island of Trinidad and Tobago.And growing up in my country i was exposed to Indian culture w Indian movies on the tv station. Even the Hindu festival Diwali is big in Trinidad.my experience was here in NYC. i met this Indian he was nice started to date . we got to know each other month become into a year. between months we had a very intimate relationship. we talked about marriage, future everything in the long run.we never fought never had any difficulties relationship was going well. then one day he called and told me some kakame story that his ex- girlfriend from south Africa (south African Indian girl) is coming back and he decide to marry her instead. he actually told me all this on the phone.i liked and accepted him for his personalities and even when he claimed he wasn't working.but instead i got really hurt.i cried for weeks trying to figure out what went wrong.my family and friends warned we about Indian men but i didn't listen.they said that he probably had a wife and didn't want her to find out about me. or didnt want to get to deeply involve because at the end of the day it goes back to his Indian beauty. I'm turn off but not completely by the experience to shut all Indian away. I think the next time i would be very terrified and hesitant to go with a next Indian man that comes along. because of that horrific experience.Actually, it is becoming more and more popular as interracial relationships become more and more popular (they are being shown quite a bit more in the media recently, as well).

I'm dating an Indian guy (first generation American) right now despite warnings from ALL OVER (even Indian girls). We are soo in love (just like everyone seems to think that they are) and match so well on so many different levels. Actually, I was never attracted to Indian men before this guy. Afterward, I know I will be so attracted to Indian men (which, according to the experiences people have, sucks!). His mother hates that I'm with him because I'm not some magical Indian flower of a girl that she wants me to be. When we walk by other Indian families, I feel a sense of "oh that Indian guy is with a white slut! his family must be so ashamed" coming from their glares. When we walk by other Indian men, I get a sense of "oh that Indian guy is with a white slut! Lucky! Maybe I can get a slut like that, too.. before I get married to a real woman" coming from their stares. Maybe that's just my perception because I'm just plugging in to their stares what I've heard from others? Either way, it's not a great feeling to be seen as a tramp who is trying to ruin families and bring shame upon thousands and thousands of years while I'm just trying to have a fulfilling relationship with someone that I love and care for horribly.

I ask him a lot about when his wife is going to arrive (I know she's just going to be a freaking glowing goddess, I just KNOW it!), but he gets very frustrated with that and swears that he'd rather go through eHarmony to find someone than to put in an order to India or through his aunties. No matter what he tells me, unfortunately for our relationship, I will always have it in the back of my mind that some woman who has been trained for his pleasure is going to show up on his doorstep and be everything that I cannot be (Indian) and make his family proud instead of disgusted.

SO, there you go--women have been warned of Indian men.. and for good reasons because the same things that JosieGirl wrote about are the same things that I've been warned about by people with similar experiences.

PS Kar*:
-There are more religions that come into play with Indian people.. Hinduism is only one, and each religion is completely tied in to the whole family dynamic.. and usually, every religion seems to share basic similarities, but the problems between them are usually tied to wars.
-Also, to say that your problems are with other "minorities" because they wanted to carry on their cultures... OMG. awesome. sooo much to pick at from your absolutely beautiful 'tolerance' of people.
First, I cannot tell if you are speaking of 'minorities' in the sense of race as compared to "WASP"... Which wouldn't really have much to do with culture specifically, but rather race OR if you're speaking of 'minorities' from other cultures as compared to American culture (which is just as ignorant to say). Most families of people from cultures other than American (which has absolutely NOTHING to do with race) want to continue their cultures through children. It's just human nature... but I don't know exactly how this would make much sense of what you think you are saying because American culture would be the minority in that perception. However, I must agree with you that American culture (which is based upon immigrants and mixing cultures) is certainly the majority of culture in America.. right? lol



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