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A well intentioned stepmother wrote on a parenting site that she tried to put her heavy stepchild on a strict diet during two-week stays at her home. Her belief was that the child's mother wasn't feeding the child healthy foods and encouraging exercise, so she wanted to "educate" the child during visits. There are times when, maybe, a stepmother may actually be more correct about what would be better for a child, but that isn't the point when it comes to whether or not the child's mother has a right to resent, and seem bitter over, someone who - regardless of whether they're correct or not - has no right to assert her own values or even good nutrition practices over a child who, quite naturally, believes he has one mother and one father only.

Second husbands may marry women who are not at all like the wives they divorced, so the chances of having different values and practices between an ex-wife and a second wife are pretty good. A traditional mother and a New Age stepmother are not going to have common ideas about the children, and no matter what a mother's beliefs are about children she will not want someone with very different beliefs having influence over them. Second wives sometimes began their relationship with their husband before a divorce was final (or even discussed). Ex-wives often believe (correctly or not) that the relationship caused or contributed to the demise of their relationship with their children's father. Even when that isn't the case or when ex-wives don't believe that, there is the issue that many people see anyone who is willing to allow a relationship with a married person to begin at all as 1) lacking character or strength and/or 2) as being willing to be in the position of being "the other woman". Either way, thinking of the second wife this way can make an ex-wife think she is not someone her children should be around.