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Teenage Sex

The question that was submitted is:

My 16 year old daughter wants to have sex. What do I do?

I'd like to tackle this from a father's perspective. First, I think it's important for fathers to educate their daughters about sex. None of my female friends ever discussed sex with their fathers that I know of, but they did discuss it with their mothers. I hope the ideas in this Hub will help fathers discuss sex with their daughters.

My thoughts on sex for adults. I believe sex should be embraced and celebrated in healthy monogamous relationships. I also personally believe that our daughters attitudes toward sex and relationships are heavily influenced by the relationships they witness. For example, I think it's a good idea to kiss and hug your wife in front of the kids. To show them how loving people treat and respect each other.

I'd also say that it would be a huge mistake if you were one day surprised to find out that your child was thinking about having sex, but you had never talked about it. The best way to avoid this is to start talking about it as early as possible. I'd start talking openly about sex with a kid that is about 10 years old (depending on the maturity level of the kid). This may seem young, but I think establishing a comfortable dialogue about sex early is important. I think sex should be a regular topic of discussion in a family, especially if you think a child is near engaging in sexual activity.

I'm a big believer that education is the best prevention. With 3 out of 10 girls getting pregnant before the age of 20, parents need to get over their own personal issues with discussing sex and educate our daughters and sons.

Since I like to be positive, I'd explain what an appropriate relationship is for a 16 year old. While this is a bit awkward, I'd say that kissing, and mutually comfortable explorational touching is a good thing and appropriate. But. Sexual intercourse is not appropriate for a 16 year old. As my father told us, "There's a time for sex and it's not in high school." I can still hear him saying that today, and I'm sure I'll borrow it with my daughters. As parents, the challenge is to raise confident and courageous women that make healthy decisions for their bodies.

While I'm not educated on the potential psychological impacts of teenage sex, I do have an opinion on the risks. Pregnancy and STDs present a risk that far outweighs the rewards. This alone is worth encouraging our daughters to wait to have sex until they are an appropriate age and in a healthy relationship.